Saturday, August 9, 2014

Bath-tubs are evil.

This post was written August 9th while still in our original, temporary flat.

While I consider myself to be flexible and open to Euro-sized flats, products and traditions the dreaded bathtub and hand-sprayer offer's one of life's greatest challenges and discomforts.

I’ve never felt more like a sad, over-grown, clumsy man than when trying to clean myself in a European bathtub.  I simply don’t understand the technique for getting clean.  How do these people do it?  I don't like to speak in generalities, but it seems damn impossible to get clean without splashing water all over the bathroom — I’ve never desired so badly as a stand-up shower.

Imagine you are sitting in a cold tub, your elbows don’t quite tuck in correctly — there’s nothing natural about sitting and spraying yourself with this improperly-shaped water spout.  You feel warmth only on one specific part of your body, meanwhile the rest (and majority of your body) is exposed to the frigid air of the bathroom -- even in August.   Don’t take your showers for granted people.  Enjoy your full-water-pressured, larger-than-needed, most-likely tiled with something fancy, shower.

I’m waving the white flag with this one…I give up.

The pictures don't do justice for the depths of my disdain.  No adult male should ever have to experience this torture.  

I hate you.

I will never ever again consider having a red toilet. Ever. Ever. Ever.
Also, we aren't really 'down' with the "using gravity to flush the toilet" concept (I like puns).  It just seems barbaric.

Perhaps, all of this is the story behind the persistent body odor in Europe.
Future blog idea...

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